So I'm new to this so be kind!
Why you might ask is a 30 year old single, relatively successful woman from Birmingham starting a blog? Great question, I guess the only real answer to that is to two fold. Firstly I need an outlet, somewhere or someone I can be brutally honest with, and in turn being honest with myself. I have my fair share of pent up anger, emotion and issues - I hear you say doesn't everyone - but this is going to be my new way of coping. Each to their own right?
Secondly I need a hobby. Honestly I can't stand the constant checking my phone, - checking Facebook, then Instagram, then Snapchat and wait has anyone whatsapped me? No, ok best check Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat again just to be sure. I mean seriously the hours I must lose scrolling and rereading things and nothing changes, its barely even interesting. But it passes those lonely boring hours and makes you feel a part of the world, even gives you something to talk about tomorrow at work.
So what's led me here? Well how do all good pathetic stories start ... You guessed it a boy!
I haven't had the best history with men it has to be said. In a nutshell had my first proper boyfriend at 17 we were together for 4 years (actually might write a post about that one some time) then we split because lets be honest who these days stays with their first love? We all think there's something or someone better, because thats what we are led to believe. And the internet and social media makes it so much easier to believe we are going to get something better! NEWSFLASH not reality, appreciate the good that you have and love that people give you. So anyway I thought I could be happier and do better. Few months later I starting dating my best friend at work. You do not need to tell me this was a mistake, I found out the hard way. We were together 2 years and sadly no longer friends. I lost a friend and broke his heart. Breifly anyway, he then met someone online and is married now - things are meant to happen and I'm really happy for him. Then I moved on to the big one, the one I thought was The One! How wrong I could be. We were together about a year before he proposed, we were engaged for a year, booked wedding and brought house ... Then he woke up one morning and decided this wasn't what he wanted after all. Poof gone ... after 11 weeks of living in our new home. This one I will write about another day, today is for the current dilemma!
So I've been single for 2 and a bit years. Don't get me wrong I've dated and kissed some frogs, I've had a lot of fun, but I just haven't felt connected to anyone. I think if I'm honest I have remained very guarded through fear of having my world fall apart again. But genuinely not felt I could have a future with anyone I met. Until now ...
I was working at my most recent job as Head of Customer Care - I loved my job and I got on with most people there. Now it can be said I can come across a little flirty, sometimes it helps at work - so sue me! Feminine charm has its advantages. It's also been said that I have a great bum, infact I've been told this since I was in high school , so I'm inclined to believe it.
So I got to know alot of the teams across the business, partly because of my role, but also because I can be very chatty and sociable. At work this comes naturally, it shocks most people to know that outside of work I can be quite the opposite. But at work I guess I felt powerful and confident, which gave me the lady balls to talk to anyone and everyone.
In particular the Head of Complaints was one of my favourite people. He used to work for another similar company and brought some people with him to work at our company. One Team Manager in particular ... For the purposes of this blog I will call him MB. Everyone that knew MB bigged him up, how good he was at his job, how brilliant he was at pretty much everything. He seemed nice enough I really wasn't blown away, good looking though I'd give him that - this was my opinion a year and half ago. We spoke little bits for work and casually flirted a little but nothing more for over a year. Just one of those people you like to look at every now and again. Plus I knew he had a girlfriend and a little under the thumb so it was a no go.
Why you might ask is a 30 year old single, relatively successful woman from Birmingham starting a blog? Great question, I guess the only real answer to that is to two fold. Firstly I need an outlet, somewhere or someone I can be brutally honest with, and in turn being honest with myself. I have my fair share of pent up anger, emotion and issues - I hear you say doesn't everyone - but this is going to be my new way of coping. Each to their own right?
Secondly I need a hobby. Honestly I can't stand the constant checking my phone, - checking Facebook, then Instagram, then Snapchat and wait has anyone whatsapped me? No, ok best check Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat again just to be sure. I mean seriously the hours I must lose scrolling and rereading things and nothing changes, its barely even interesting. But it passes those lonely boring hours and makes you feel a part of the world, even gives you something to talk about tomorrow at work.
So what's led me here? Well how do all good pathetic stories start ... You guessed it a boy!
I haven't had the best history with men it has to be said. In a nutshell had my first proper boyfriend at 17 we were together for 4 years (actually might write a post about that one some time) then we split because lets be honest who these days stays with their first love? We all think there's something or someone better, because thats what we are led to believe. And the internet and social media makes it so much easier to believe we are going to get something better! NEWSFLASH not reality, appreciate the good that you have and love that people give you. So anyway I thought I could be happier and do better. Few months later I starting dating my best friend at work. You do not need to tell me this was a mistake, I found out the hard way. We were together 2 years and sadly no longer friends. I lost a friend and broke his heart. Breifly anyway, he then met someone online and is married now - things are meant to happen and I'm really happy for him. Then I moved on to the big one, the one I thought was The One! How wrong I could be. We were together about a year before he proposed, we were engaged for a year, booked wedding and brought house ... Then he woke up one morning and decided this wasn't what he wanted after all. Poof gone ... after 11 weeks of living in our new home. This one I will write about another day, today is for the current dilemma!
So I've been single for 2 and a bit years. Don't get me wrong I've dated and kissed some frogs, I've had a lot of fun, but I just haven't felt connected to anyone. I think if I'm honest I have remained very guarded through fear of having my world fall apart again. But genuinely not felt I could have a future with anyone I met. Until now ...
I was working at my most recent job as Head of Customer Care - I loved my job and I got on with most people there. Now it can be said I can come across a little flirty, sometimes it helps at work - so sue me! Feminine charm has its advantages. It's also been said that I have a great bum, infact I've been told this since I was in high school , so I'm inclined to believe it.
So I got to know alot of the teams across the business, partly because of my role, but also because I can be very chatty and sociable. At work this comes naturally, it shocks most people to know that outside of work I can be quite the opposite. But at work I guess I felt powerful and confident, which gave me the lady balls to talk to anyone and everyone.
In particular the Head of Complaints was one of my favourite people. He used to work for another similar company and brought some people with him to work at our company. One Team Manager in particular ... For the purposes of this blog I will call him MB. Everyone that knew MB bigged him up, how good he was at his job, how brilliant he was at pretty much everything. He seemed nice enough I really wasn't blown away, good looking though I'd give him that - this was my opinion a year and half ago. We spoke little bits for work and casually flirted a little but nothing more for over a year. Just one of those people you like to look at every now and again. Plus I knew he had a girlfriend and a little under the thumb so it was a no go.
Fast forward to November 2018, we had been nominated for 2 awards for our service with one of our providers for Voice of the Customer. Couldn't be happier, it was my project so I had been asked to organise for 20+ people to attend from our business. One of the teams nominated was MBs, so I worked with him to ensure the right people had been invited from his area, but again nothing more to it. The event was amazing, we hired a coach to take us to London, we all had a hotel, the event was at Cineworld in the 02, with plenty of free flowing alcohol. It was fab!! At the time I had recently been told I was being made redundant - so it was a hard time if I'm being honest. I felt so happy to be there, so proud of my amazing teams and colleagues for the work they had done, deeply sad to be leaving such great people, and quite angry towards my boss who was also attending the event. After a fair few wines, and lots of fun, and oh yeah WINNING 2 AWARDS, we were deciding how to spend the remainder of the night and me and MB got talking about my boss (he also knew him well from previous jobs) and he let me in on some juicy goss. We ended up standing in the middle of the 02 for about half an hour just chatting. At the time I'd had a drink and didn't think much of it, just got lost in the conversation and how comfortable it was.
That night me and my teams went into London for drinks and had an absolute blast. Most of them I'd never been out with before, if I'm honest mainly because of my position and it was almost frowned upon. But given that I was being made redundant, I had a bit of a who cares attitude. Which is probably wrong, but we had such a good time and who cares right? Life is for living and laughing!!
So because I had to look after everyone and ensure things went to plan, I had a list of everyone's numbers. And whilst we were out I text MB telling the group he was with to come and join us. Sent some daft messages as you do, but not flirty and if I'm really honest with you I wanted him there at the time because I thought he was a nice fun guy. Again nothing more, why would I think he'd look twice at me when he was spoken for, right?
So they joined us for a bit but we were a bit too wild for them and they left! The following morning, after a very long walk in heels back to the hotel, I was in a bad way! Being sick, the works. So I should probably point out I have had issues in the past with my liver and drinking in excess often makes me very very sick! Until recently apparently ...
I was the last down to breakfast and last on the coach the following day. Considering I was in charge its pretty bad really. But everyone was great! After half a coach journey of dieing we stopped off at services and I can't tell you how much a Coke with no ice from Mcdonalds can change my world. It makes me feel human again!! And for some reason when I got back on the coach I sat in the seat behind MB and chatted to him the rest of the way home. I can't really tell you why I did it just felt natural. He'd text me in the night and being too drunk I hadn't responded and he'd stolen loads of booze from the event so I guess that's where the conversation started. And I guess this is where more than just a conversation started ... it was the start of complete heart break for me and now I don't know what to do for the best or how to be strong for myself again! Ever felt that way, what did you do?
I guess that's an intro to my current situation and I'll psych myself up to share the details of this new budding romance soon ... TTFN xoxo
That night me and my teams went into London for drinks and had an absolute blast. Most of them I'd never been out with before, if I'm honest mainly because of my position and it was almost frowned upon. But given that I was being made redundant, I had a bit of a who cares attitude. Which is probably wrong, but we had such a good time and who cares right? Life is for living and laughing!!
So because I had to look after everyone and ensure things went to plan, I had a list of everyone's numbers. And whilst we were out I text MB telling the group he was with to come and join us. Sent some daft messages as you do, but not flirty and if I'm really honest with you I wanted him there at the time because I thought he was a nice fun guy. Again nothing more, why would I think he'd look twice at me when he was spoken for, right?
So they joined us for a bit but we were a bit too wild for them and they left! The following morning, after a very long walk in heels back to the hotel, I was in a bad way! Being sick, the works. So I should probably point out I have had issues in the past with my liver and drinking in excess often makes me very very sick! Until recently apparently ...
I was the last down to breakfast and last on the coach the following day. Considering I was in charge its pretty bad really. But everyone was great! After half a coach journey of dieing we stopped off at services and I can't tell you how much a Coke with no ice from Mcdonalds can change my world. It makes me feel human again!! And for some reason when I got back on the coach I sat in the seat behind MB and chatted to him the rest of the way home. I can't really tell you why I did it just felt natural. He'd text me in the night and being too drunk I hadn't responded and he'd stolen loads of booze from the event so I guess that's where the conversation started. And I guess this is where more than just a conversation started ... it was the start of complete heart break for me and now I don't know what to do for the best or how to be strong for myself again! Ever felt that way, what did you do?
I guess that's an intro to my current situation and I'll psych myself up to share the details of this new budding romance soon ... TTFN xoxo
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