So I had it all, right? - well sort of. I had the man of my dreams, so it certainly felt that I was on cloud 9 and nothing could stop me because that's all I needed! Reality check girl - give yourself a slap - the world is not that kind! So December was blissful, we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, and living together, we turned into a very cute little couple. MB didn't have a car and moving away from the city meant he moved away from work and could no longer walk. As luck would have it I was recently unemployed, so I didn't require my car in the day really, so he got insured and started using the car. Pretty big commitment right? So I was going for interviews, and being the perfect little house wife - doing the cleaning, the washing and getting food in - he would then do the cooking, because he enjoyed it. We planned alsorts. We had those amazing conversations where you stay up late, planning an amazing life together - he really wanted a baby, and I mean daily...
It occurred to me that I have posted my first blog, and haven't really addressed the title - Smile Like You Mean It - well I guess where my mind was going with this, is that we all wear a face each day, mine is always a smile. I try at least, to smile be polite to everyone. Whether that's people at work, people on my train, my taxi driver or anyone I come into contact with really. But none of the these people have any idea what lies behind this smile - the loneliness, the sadness, the heartache, the disappointment, the anxiety. And that's why I am doing this, to get to a place where I am smiling because I mean it! So who is Mr 'here today gone tomorrow', well that would of course be MB. (Remember no names ;-)) So how did things escalate from an innocent chat on a coach, I hear you ask? Well this is the part where you will absolutely judge me, and actually I judge myself. Now I am not fan of cheating in any way shape or form, I do not condone it and I want that ...